Happy New Year!
I hope you've successfully navigated that awkward stage of being back at work and having the exact same conversation with every single person about your break.
Yes, I did eat my bodyweight in cheese. Yes, too much food. Yes, too much drink. Yes, it was worth it. Can we move on with our lives now?
BIG NEWS: WE HIT 100,000 FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM
The Dragon Oni basically carried us there on its horns, so this week we're throwing in FREE CUSTOMISATION on every Dragon Oni order as our way of saying thank you.
That's right. Pick your size. Pick your colour. Pick your firmness. It's on us.
BACKLOG BULLETIN
Here's the thing about taking a little break over the holidays: orders pile up.
You lot went absolutely feral with your purchasing during said break. (New year, new you, new fantasy toys)
So right now? We're playing catch up.
THE PLAN:
- Hiring 3 new production staff (2 already have start dates)
- Onboarding them with the official DilDO's and DilDON'Ts of toy making
- Alex has upgraded our giant industrial heater to battle the cold (the team will be working in shorts and t-shirts)
Translation: We're scaling up. Your orders are safe. Thank you for your patience!
I SAW THE REVIEW...
Apparently one person loves our products but finds our marketing "quite cringe and exhausting, like it's written by some 15 year old with an attitude."
And honestly? Fair.
I am exhausting. These emails are a lot. But I can't be everyone's cup of tea.
So to that reviewer: This one's for you. Especially for you.
IN SUMMARY:
Thank you for 100,000 follows.
Thank you for tolerating my wittering on (or hate-reading it).
Thank you for making 2025 bloody brilliant.
Here's to 2026
Thank you and goodbye forever!
Chief Dildo Officer