*It's Friday. I'm supposed to write these on Tuesday. This is fine. Everything is fine.
Right then,
Quick update because I've got a glass of wine with my name on it:
Awards update
- We lost. Our Tentacle Ovipositor got pipped by Bad Dragon's Ellen the Alien Queen for Best Fantasy-Themed Sex Toy at XMA. Had a speech ready and everything. Next year, BD. Next year. shakes fist dramatically
- In other news, we're up for Best Adult Brand at Alternative Awards 2025! checks notes Think this is nomination number six? At this point we're the Glenn Close of sex toy awards - eight Oscar nominations, zero wins. Still keeping it classy though.
Promos
- That free egg promo we tried? Dead in the water (No one was interested in it apparently), so we switched it...
- Mystery Dildo is back! BUT. Plot twist - turns out not everyone wants the X-Small ones. Fair enough. Chuck us a few extra coins and you can size up to Small, Medium or Large. (Silicone's not cheap and my boss keeps banging on about margins)
New stuff
- Banana X Tentacle exists now. Don't ask questions.
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Knot III is on its way... well, it'll be ready when someone finds the bloody tape measure. We can't launch it without measurements!
Must dash
Chief Dildo Officer (I was told I could choose my own title)