BREAKING NEWS: We've hit 1,000 reviews! 🎉
THE STATS
4.7 out of 5 stars overall. Which means yes, we occasionally screw up (we're human after all), but we're working on that elusive 0.3 stars. Is it even possible to improve a decimal point? Unclear, but we've got our best people on it.
WHAT'S NEXT?
We're not resting on our laurels (or any other surfaces). Every review helps us level up our game, because let's face it — your pleasure is quite literally our business.
We're not resting on our laurels (or any other surfaces). Every review helps us level up our game, because let's face it — your pleasure is quite literally our business.
P.S We've picked out some of our review highlights:
Best Set Design: Shout out to the creative genius who photographed their Tentacle Ovipositor with a giant St. Andrew Bondage Cross in the background.
Source: Tentacle Ovipositor
Most Concise Literature: To the person/monkey who left this poetic 3-star review on our Banana X Tentacle toy: "wife happy. life good. give wife banana. wife leave. monkey sad." - Hemingway could never.
Source: Banana X Tentacle
Most Helpful Criticism: Thanks to the eagle-eyed customer who spotted 3D print marks on the XS Equiknot. It's already being reprinted as we speak.
Source: Mystery Dildo
Want to read more? Check out all our reviews here.
Goodbye forever*
Your Favourite Chief Dildo Officer (I was told I could choose my own title)