Welcome to one and all.
I come bearing news.
THE VENUS GRINDER GOT NOMINATED FOR AN XBIZ AWARD
Specifically, Sex Toy of the Year. Which feels absolutely wild considering we're up against brands like Satisfyer, Biird, and The Natural Love Company... you know, the ones who speak in hushed tones about "sexual wellness" and use beige colour palettes like they're selling meditation apps.
Meanwhile, we're standing there with our Venus Grinder in absolutely mental colours with spikes and texture, feeling like we showed up to a wine tasting in fancy dress. But honestly? We're gonna do us, and if that means being the chaotic colourful creators at the fancy party, so be it.
The slightly devastating news is that the public can't vote, so we can't bribe you lovely people to vote on our behalf. Just... cross your fingers for us? Maybe even light a candle? Whatever feels right.
OUR READY MADES HAVE BASICALLY DISAPPEARED
We've got 11 left right now… Consider this less of a sales pitch and more of a public service announcement that these things are vanishing faster than our ability to keep up with production.
PRODUCTION UPDATE
We’re still battling orders from our Instagram viral moment. We’ve hired two new members of the team and if this was the movies, we'd have a Rocky style montage. But it's not. It's real life, and it takes time. So thank you for your patience!
COMING THIS WEEK:
• No new products (we're focusing on not disappointing the lovely people who already gave us money)
• More training montages featuring new team members
• Hopefully fewer panicked emails about order delays
BLOG ALERT: WE HAVE ONE NOW
Yes, we have a blog now. Because apparently we weren't rambling at you enough through our emails. You can now read older editions of my chaotic updates at uncovercreations.com/blogs/news
Okey doke - that's it. Thank you and goodbye forever!
Chief Dildo Officer