Your friendly neighbourhood marketing exec here, broadcasting live from my cold desk where Winter Is Coming.
Remember when Alex (our resident "but will it sell?" guy) was sceptical about larger Owlbears? Well, guess what? Not only did we launch them, but both the medium AND large sizes are now available! Your persistent demands have paid off – buy them here so I can do my victory dance while singing 'I told you so'.
HUGE NEWS: Our first-ever Design a Grinder Vote is happening right now! This is your chance to literally shape our future products. Haven't voted yet? Stop everything and do it now. This email can wait. We're giving YOU the power to decide what we make next, and let's be honest, when was the last time you got to vote on something fun?
Other quick updates (after you've bought a medium and large owlbear and voted, of course):
- Last chance! Only 48 hours left on our Pinpoint promotion – grab your free one while you can
- The Tentacle Depth Trainer II photoshoot was... interesting. Turns out photographing a 30" product is like trying to wrangle an excited octopus. We're giving it another go this week!
- Speaking of new releases: we've expanded our range with two new made-to-measure penis extenders
- Tech talk: Alex upgraded our resin printer to an 8K screen. I'm told this is very exciting, though I'm still nodding along pretending I understand what it means
Thank you and goodbye forever*!
*probably sometime later this week.