Heyyyyyy,
I've got a handful of things to tell you today and I've separated everything with a little dashed line in what I can only describe as the most ambitious formatting decision of my career so far. Right, let's get through this quickly so I can get back to watching monkey videos.
Strap in.
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DESIGN A GRINDER II IS LIVE AND YOU HAVEN'T ENTERED YET???
You have the chance to design a grinder, win $1,000, and have the permanent bragging rights of being the person whose imagination made a thing that people... use. With their bodies. For pleasure. That's a legacy.
ENTRY NOW CLOSED :(
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RIGHT. THE TARIFF THING.
I know, I know. You've seen the news. Trump's tariffs got struck down by the Supreme Court and are being replaced with... other tariffs? Possibly? I genuinely do not fully understand what is happening and I refuse to pretend otherwise.
What I CAN tell you is: right now, nothing changes for you. Prices are the same. Orders are the same. We're watching it like everyone else and we'll shout if anything actually shifts. Until then: keep calm, carry on, buy silicone sex toys on the internet as normal.
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THE DRAGON EGGS ARE HERE
New Dragon Eggs have landed: you could buy them, hold them gently, and fully re-imagine the final season of Game of Thrones the way it deserved to go. Be the dragon mother the writers refused to let Daenerys be. Rewrite history. Heal.
(Or just... buy the Dragon Eggs because they're beautiful and made from platinum silicone and feel incredible. Either reason is valid. Both reasons at once is encouraged.)
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WE BUILT A THING: POURHUB
We've launched our new internal manufacturing system, PourHub, which is a very fancy way of saying we've got our production a little more organised so your custom orders move through faster. Less chaos, more efficiency.
It won't speed everything up overnight but it should mean less "where is my order" emails for you and less "I don't know where the order is" panic from us. Progress!
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GOBLIN II COLOUR REVEAL: COMING SOON (MAYBE)
To everyone who voted in the Goblin II signature colour vote: you're wonderful and we see you. The winning colour will be revealed this week. Or next week. Depending entirely on how organised I am, which historically is... variable.
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Right, that's everything. I'm heading back to socials to binge watch Punch* clips and I will not be taking further questions today.
Thank you and goodbye forever**!
* He's a Japanese monkey. He's been having a tough time lately and I've invested more emotional energy into his wellbeing than is probably healthy.
** I'll probably pester you again mid-week