Hello, hello and hello to you.
Your slightly overwhelmed Chief Dildo Officer here.
NEW PEOPLE! 👋
We've been hiring. Which sounds very grown-up and professional of us.
First up: Kinga has joined the production team and is already pouring toys at a pace that suggests she's been here for years. Welcome Kinga.
Second: We've hired someone whose entire job is to get our products onto your feeds. So if you start seeing Uncover Creations (and Sinnovator) popping up across your FYP in the coming weeks... that's intentional now. We did that on purpose.
WE ARE NOW 20 PEOPLE. WHAT.
This deserves its own section because I'm still processing it. Twenty people. We are going to have to start doing things like... synergies. Workflows. Getting it right*.
I might buy a tie.
I won't wear the tie.
But I might buy one.
GOBLIN II IS DOING THE THING
The little chaos gremlin is out in the world and honestly? Going strong. If you haven't already met him, now's a good time. He's been very well received.
13,000KG (28,660 lbs) OF SILICONE ARRIVED 🏋️
To put that in perspective: 13,000kg (28,660 lbs) is roughly the weight of two full grown African elephants. We now own two elephants worth of platinum silicone.
According to Alex's Garmin, unloading and storing all of it burned 464 calories and pushed his heart rate to 176 BPM. We have chosen to frame this as a free gym session.
The silicone is in. Alex is alive. The space situation is "being managed" (It is not being managed).
DESIGN A GRINDER II UPDATE
We've spent the last few days buried under hundreds of submissions trying to whittle things down to a shortlist and genuinely, it's hard.
Here's where things stand:
- We'll continue to narrow things down. There might be raised voices, strong opinions, sulking. But bear (or is bare?) with us.
- We'll then put the shortlist to a public vote.
- The top 5 or so designs from the shortlist vote will then go to a final vote.
Any who, we'll be back in touch when voting opens. Watch this space, etc.
Right. That's everything. We're fine. Everything is fine. There are twenty of us and two elephants worth of silicone and it's all completely under control.
And this is the end bit where I say goodbye forever.
Goodbye. Forever.
Chief Dildo Officer
*I was once told by a management consultant in a previous life/role that we just need to "get it right". 🙄