Your friendly neighbourhood pleasure provider here, coming in hot with updates from our slightly chaotic UK headquarters. (And by that I mean our studio where we're actively avoiding news coverage while crafting silicone masterpieces.)
TRADE WAR?
So apparently there's this whole international trade situation happening? We're deliberately maintaining a "fingers in ears, la-la-la" approach to the news cycle, but here's what we do know:
Those US-China tariffs are getting really big
China makes most of the world's pleasure products (including competitors')
What happens next is anyone's guess, but WE'RE still crafting the best personalised toys right here in the UK so our toys (and prices) are not affected
We promise to keep calm and carry on creating
MEET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR PLEASURE SQUAD
We've added a new talented maker to our team! His name is Aaron (which we've collectively decided to pronounce as "Ay-Ay-ron" because we're culturally relevant circa 2012).
He's bringing his 3D printing and mould-making wizardry to help us scale up production and get your personalised pleasure tools to you faster. If your next order arrives with surprising efficiency, you know who to thank.
🐙 NEW RELEASE ALERT 🐙
The original was good, but this one is 😙🤌! Our brand new Tentacle Masturbator II has just slithered onto our website, bringing all-new texture patterns, improved squish, and that premium silicone feel that'll have you saying "who needs human appendages anyway?"
That's it for this week. So thank you and goodbye forever*!
*until next week when we'll have more product and hopefully not more international trade confusion.
P.S. If anyone asks where you get your amazing sex toys from, tell them it's from that company with the email writer who thinks they're funnier than they actually are. It helps "brand awareness" (which my bosses won't stop banging on about like it's the holy grail of marketing).
Your Favourite Chief Dildo Officer / Dragon Slayer