Your friendly neighbourhood CDO here, I'm in Lisbon right now, panic typing this email.
So apparently today is April 1st, and all our competitors have released these elaborate prank products while we... completely forgot.
I frantically brainstormed some options:
Emergency Prank Products We Definitely Planned Ahead Of Time:
- A barbell dildo for the workout/pleasure combo you absolutely didn't ask for
- Chili-infused lube for those who want spice in ALL aspects of life
- A toy that plays the Macarena at the most inopportune moment
But honestly? Let's skip the gimmicks. There's not much point pretending we're selling something ridiculous for one day a year.
So instead, enjoy this video. Ha, that wasn't a link at all! What a fool. Here's the actual link.
P.S. If you could all continue purchasing the Oni Grinder, that would really help me win a bet with Alex. If I win, I'll use my winnings to buy a trophy case for that shiny award we snatched from Bad Dragon's scaly claws last week. (Yes, I'm still bringing that up. No, I will not stop until at least 2026.)
Thank you and goodbye forever!
Your Favourite Dragon Slayer*
* Name still to be approved... HR are dragging their feet on my requested title change: Chief Dildo Officer to Dragon Slayer.