Your favourite slightly-chaotic marketing person here, emerging from a holiday food coma. Fun fact: I've consumed roughly my bodyweight in chocolate and still have zero regrets.
BIG NEWS: WE'RE HIRING! 🎉
Our little team of 7 humans (plus two very professional doggo supervisors) is growing to 8! This means faster production times, which means you get your goodies quicker. Speaking of which...
SHIPPING UPDATE:
We've temporarily disabled express shipping for a week while we catch up on existing orders. Don't worry, your pleasure isn't going anywhere – we're just making sure everyone gets their treats in the right order!
NEW ARRIVAL: THE ALIEN 👽
Think thick, top-heavy tip, deliciously bulbous shaft, and an experience that's literally out of this world.
2024 WRAPPED: THE CHAOS EDITION
- Shipped to 51 countries (world domination status: in progress)
- California crowned as our kinkiest state (stay weird, West Coast!)
- Released 41 new products including Ball Gags and Wax Play Candles
- Added Squishy Soft silicone (that's 0030 shore hardness for you firmness aficionados)
- Personal fave: The Oni Grinder (because sometimes you need your grinding to look extra epic)
- Ran our first Design a Grinder Competition (first winner coming this month!)
- Grew from 4 to 7 humans (plus maintained optimal dog-to-human ratio)
WHAT'S COMING IN 2025?
- More products (obviously)
- More sass (naturally)
- More team members (hopefully they like dogs)
Stay tuned for what promises to be another year of pushing boundaries, breaking moulds (literally), and occasionally making inappropriate puns in marketing meetings.
With love and chaos,
Chief Dildo Officer (I was told I could choose my own title)
P.S. The office dogs say woof (which I'm pretty sure translates to "buy more toys")