The Alien III Dildo

THE ALIEN III: Perfect for anyone who's ever thought: "You know what I need? Something that understands anatomy AND has a sense of adventure."

Here's the deal with this otherworldly wonder: it starts thick and tapers down as it goes, which sounds simple until you realise what a game changer that design actually is. The bulbous head? That's your "hello there" moment.

But wait, there's more! (And yes, I'm channelling infomercial energy) We added these perfectly placed bumps along the top of the shaft because apparently our design team believes in overachieving. Plus, the gentle curve hits your G spot like it has GPS coordinates programmed in.

Consider this your official invitation to make first contact with your new favourite extra-terrestrial experience.

Brought to you by the creative brilliance of Kat from Excelddesigns.

We use platinum-cure silicone for every single product because honestly? You deserve toys that are safe, durable, and feel as good as they look.

What makes it so special?

It's non-porous, which means when you clean it, it actually gets clean clean. No sneaky bacteria hiding in microscopic crevices. No weird smells developing over time. Just pure, body-safe silicone that stays hygienic no matter how adventurous you get.

Plus, it feels incredible. Like, genuinely fantastic!

All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.

We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.