The Alien III Dildo
Starts thick, tapers down, with a bulbous head that says hello and bumps along the shaft that keep the conversation going while the curve heads straight for your G spot like it was handed the coordinates. If you usually like a lot of girth, size up, because the taper is sneakier than it looks. It also does glow in the dark if you ask, which feels thematically correct for something from space.
Total:
Add any toy to your cart and we'll secretly slip in a FREE x-small mystery dildo.
Want to size up? You can upgrade your surprise for just a few extra coins in cart. Because good things come in all sizes.
Full details
Full details
THE ALIEN III: Perfect for anyone who's ever thought: "You know what I need? Something that understands anatomy AND has a sense of adventure."
Here's the deal with this otherworldly wonder: it starts thick and tapers down as it goes, which sounds simple until you realise what a game changer that design actually is. The bulbous head? That's your "hello there" moment.
But wait, there's more! (And yes, I'm channelling infomercial energy) We added these perfectly placed bumps along the top of the shaft because apparently our design team believes in overachieving. Plus, the gentle curve hits your G spot like it has GPS coordinates programmed in.
Consider this your official invitation to make first contact with your new favourite extra-terrestrial experience.
Brought to you by the creative brilliance of Kat from Excelddesigns.
Platinum Silicone
Platinum Silicone
We use platinum-cure silicone for every single product because honestly? You deserve toys that are safe, durable, and feel as good as they look.
What makes it so special?
It's non-porous, which means when you clean it, it actually gets clean clean. No sneaky bacteria hiding in microscopic crevices. No weird smells developing over time. Just pure, body-safe silicone that stays hygienic no matter how adventurous you get.
Plus, it feels incredible. Like, genuinely fantastic!
Shipping to United Kingdom
Shipping to United Kingdom
Discreet Shipping
All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.
Returns
Look, we get it. Sometimes things don't work out. We've all been there.
You've got 30 days from when your package arrives to decide if you want to return something. Just make sure the item is in the same condition you received it — unused, with all its original packaging and tags intact.
For more info here's our full returns policy.
Secure Checkout
Secure Checkout
We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.
Your customisation
Every inch different
The head pops in, the bumps along the top do their thing on the way past, and the taper means the intensity dials itself down the deeper you go (or back up on the way out, which is its own event).
Aim and grip
The curve points itself at the right spot without you steering, and the base is there to hold onto when you want full depth and full control of the landing.
Suspiciously explainable
Silicone that is safe everywhere it is going, in shades you will genuinely just sit and stare at, and just humanoid enough to survive a vanilla houseguest snooping through your drawer (explainable, we said, not innocent).
Ready Mades: The Alien III Dildo
These one-of-a-kind beauties ship immediately, show exactly what you're getting, and disappear forever once claimed.
Size Guide (Inches)
| Measurement | XS | S | M | L |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tip Circumference | 3.0 | 3.5 | 3.7 | 4.7 |
| Head Circumference | 4.1 | 4.7 | 5.1 | 6.1 |
| Knot or Middle Circumference | 4.5 | 5.3 | 6.0 | 6.9 |
| Shaft Circumference | 4.5 | 5.3 | 6.0 | 6.9 |
| Insertable Length | 4.7 | 5.5 | 6.3 | 7.3 |
| Total Length | 5.9 | 6.7 | 7.7 | 8.7 |
| Base Circumference | 9.3 | 10.9 | 11.8 | 13.6 |
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Reviews
What customers are saying
Reviewers keep praising the marbling and colour options almost as much as the toy itself, with the bulbous head, the texture, and the G spot accuracy coming up again and again, and more than one calling it an unexpected favourite from a casual add on purchase. The recurring caveats: a few wished they had sized up or chosen a firmer silicone, and marbling results can vary from pour to pour.
