Okay so,
I've gone quiet. Not ignoring you (I promise). I went on a writing spree, and it turns out producing a genuinely insane amount of content takes a genuinely stupid amount of time.
Anyway. Buckle up, this one's a roundup.
TLDR:
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The Tentacle III is here. Buy it.
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EU and US orders now have zero surprise customs charges or tax. What you see at checkout is what you pay.
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We built a thing that summarises reviews so you don't have to read all of them.
The Tentacle III is live.
Third one in the family. Thick, not long. Looks amazing.
No more surprise customs charges (EU and US).
IOSS and DDP, for those of you who collect acronyms. Jade and Melissa spent a heroic amount of energy reminding us that surprise customs charges are a nightmare and customers hate them (correct on both counts). So we fixed it.
In plain English: if you're in the EU or the US, no extra duties or tax on your order. What you see at checkout is what you pay. No grim little letter from the courier two weeks later asking for more money.
Meanwhile, in the lab.
By "lab" I mean the cluttered corner of the studio we've decided to call a lab. Matt has been testing transparent silicone.
The verdict: looks incredible, has the tear strength of wet tissue. So unless you specifically want to rip your toy clean in half like some deranged strongman, it's a no from us.
Back to the drawing board.
Design A Grinder II.
Taking shape. Literally. It's in 3D right now.
For those who don't know, our "Design A _______" series gives you a chance to vote for the next toy design created by the talented artists from the The Uncover Creations Community.
Once designs are submitted, you get to pick what we mould next. Check out Angel, our Winner
Polls are closed now. To vote for the next one, look out for the next email announcement.
Reviews, summarised.
We added a feature that gives you the gist of a product's reviews without making you read all forty seven of them across six pages.
You can still read every single one if that's your idea of a fun evening (no judgement, mostly).
The Snap Dragon did the business.
Our first wand compatible grinder has done really well. You bought so many Le Wands we had to order a fresh batch. Good shout.
Not all good news: the vibrating cock rings.
We dropped three. I had high hopes. You had other plans (fine, totally fine, it's fine).
They're still there if you want them, no hard feelings.
But if they keep quietly gathering dust we'll probably leave it for a while. Not a threat. A business decision. No pressure. Genuinely.
That's the lot. Sorry it was long (it was always going to be long).
Goodbye forever.
Chief Dildo Officer
P.S. If you do nothing else this week, the Tentacle III is the one. Thick, not long. We stand by it.
P.P.S. The cock rings remain available and quietly hopeful.