What our customers say

4.8(10)

The recurring love is for the texture (you can feel every ridge, apparently on loop) and the genuinely small size options, which people struggled to find elsewhere in monster-style toys, plus repeat praise for the colours including a glow in the dark. It's a favourite for anal and novice-friendly use thanks to the subtle knot. The one honest note: a couple of people found XS in super soft tricky to get started with, and a few plan to size up for more girth.

The Alien II Dildo

Name: The Alien II Dildo
Rating: 4.80 (10 reviews)

£49

Slim silhouette, heavily ribbed reality: you feel every single ridge on the way in and (more importantly) on the way back out. If you're eyeing that narrow shape thinking it's too polite for you, so did half the people who now refuse to shut up about it, and the body-safe silicone means it earns that reputation without giving your body anything to complain about. The subtle knot sits there like it's minding its own business, which it absolutely is not.

Size: X-Small

X-Small £49 Small £59 Medium £69Most Popular Large £119

Full details

Straight outta someone's biomechanical fever dream (looking at you, H.R. Giger)

Introducing The Alien II. Don't let the slim silhouette fool you. Those heavy ribbed textures? They're not just for show. You'll feel EVERY. SINGLE. INCH.

This thing has curves that'll make your toes curl and your eyes roll back. It knows exactly where to press, slide, and stimulate, like it's been studying a map of your pleasure points since before you knew they existed. The Alien knows where they are. The Alien always knows.

Designed by the brilliant Kat from Excelddesigns (who clearly understands anatomy better than most medical textbooks), this otherworldly creation delivers the kind of pleasure that might have you speaking in tongues. Or at least texting your friends in all caps the next day.

Side effects may include: spontaneous gasping, neighbours learning your name, and the sudden urge to believe in extraterrestrial life.

Platinum Silicone

We use platinum-cure silicone for every single product because honestly? You deserve toys that are safe, durable, and feel as good as they look.

What makes it so special?

It's non-porous, which means when you clean it, it actually gets clean clean. No sneaky bacteria hiding in microscopic crevices. No weird smells developing over time. Just pure, body-safe silicone that stays hygienic no matter how adventurous you get.

Plus, it feels incredible. Like, genuinely fantastic!

Shipping to United Kingdom

Discreet Shipping

All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.

Returns

Look, we get it. Sometimes things don't work out. We've all been there.

You've got 30 days from when your package arrives to decide if you want to return something. Just make sure the item is in the same condition you received it — unused, with all its original packaging and tags intact.

For more info here's our full returns policy.

Secure Checkout

We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.

The ribbed texture isn't decorative, it's the entire point, and the slimmer build means nothing gets lost in transit. Goes deep without a fight.

The relaxed knot doubles as a gentle anchor, so it behaves like a plug when you want it to and doesn't wander off mid-session. Easy going for anyone still getting acquainted with texture.

Made from body-safe silicone that wipes clean without ceremony, and comes in four sizes from XS up (so you can start modest or commit fully). Ships discreetly, because your postie doesn't need the backstory.

Size Guide (Inches)

Measurement	XS	S	M	L
Tip Circumference	1.6 4.1	1.7 4.3	2.0 5.1	2.3 5.8
Head Circumference	2.0 5.1	2.4 6.1	2.6 6.6	2.9 7.4
Head Diameter	0.6 1.6	0.8 1.9	0.8 2.1	0.9 2.3
Knot or Middle Circumference	3.5 8.9	3.9 9.9	4.5 11.4	5.2 13.2
Middle diameter	1.1 2.8	1.2 3.1	1.4 3.6	1.7 4.2
Shaft Circumference	2.8 7.1	3.5 8.9	4.2 10.7	4.3 10.9
Insertable Length	4.7 11.9	5.6 14.2	6.2 15.7	7.2 18.3
Total Length	5.6 14.2	6.5 16.5	7.3 18.5	8.4 21.3
Base Circumference	6.1 15.5	7.1 18.0	7.7 19.6	9.1 23.1

The recurring love is for the texture (you can feel every ridge, apparently on loop) and the genuinely small size options, which people struggled to find elsewhere in monster-style toys, plus repeat praise for the colours including a glow in the dark. It's a favourite for anal and novice-friendly use thanks to the subtle knot. The one honest note: a couple of people found XS in super soft tricky to get started with, and a few plan to size up for more girth.

5 stars: 8 (80%)
4 stars: 2 (20%)
3 stars: 0 (0%)
2 stars: 0 (0%)
1 star: 0 (0%)

Deep. Comfortable. Stays in like a plug.

You can feel every ridge. I got Large and Medium density and I think they were the perfect options for my body. Goes deep without effort.

Love this thing <3

I got this as a mystery gift (in small) and I love it! At first, I can't lie I got a bit judgey- I liked the shape but thought it was too narrow for me. I've since apologized to this incredible dildo as it is literally perfect in every way for anal. Highly recommend for anal novices that want easy use with exciting texture and a perfectly subtle knot.

Bamboozled

Got this as a very welcomed mystery dildo freebie and I FREAKING LOVE IT!!!
Bit thinner than the other ones I have BUT I think that just might be the feature that makes this dildo so great. You can feel every single ridge!
I got the upgrade to medium for this. And the scream I scrumpt when I found out this colour was a glow in the dark… Just genious!

well made, discreetly packaged and feels great!

well made, discreetly packaged and feels great! perfect for my first (non-vibrating) dildo, I ordered a size medium and am so happy with how small it still comes out, perfect for my first! The knot is very fun and the texture is lovely.

Love the alien

This is a great toy! I got small and medium firmness and am happy with my purchase. The size small is a great length and circumference for me. The moonkissed color is really nice too!

A great, weird, textural buddy (but definitely size up)

Got this as a mystery XS freebie when I ordered my Centaur earlier this year (which I realize now was a hilarious size difference package) and found this thing to be just so fun. With backdoor play you will 100% feel every single rib, and the relaxed knot makes it a great plug-like toy. As a free offering this was great but as a word of warning: XS and super soft makes this one a real pain to get in at times. If you'll entertain a crude metaphor— a xeno with whiskey-dick. Regardless, I can only imagine what this little freak is like at larger sizes, and I may very well have to find out soon.

Might have to size up!

Super nice but I wish it was a little more girthy, so in the future I'll size up, then.

Amazing!

Wife absolutely loves this toy and the freeby that came with it is a big hit too. Looking forward to trying another and going a size up!

Just a lil guy...

I got this one as a freebie as part of a promotion (at least I think it's this one. I scrutinised the appearance to be sure) and he's just a lil guy. XS is actually perfect for someone like me with their parts being all sorts of wonky.

OMG PERFECT

We had to look for agesr to find a non boring dildo company that accommodates small sizes as we found most monster style ones came in big bigger and massive. My partner and I absolutely love using this on eachother the colour is amazing and the ribbed texture (we got the standard softness) is the best!!!

Product FAQ

What are the different colour options?

We offer 6 different colour styles, though not all are available on every product.

Surprise Me Basic - Leave the decision in our capable hands and we'll choose a solid colour that compliments your toy selection.

Surprise Me Premium - Leave the decision to us and we'll get creative with two or more colours. We love this choice as it allows us to get experimental with all of our colours, often resulting in our best pours.

Solid - One colour that will run evenly throughout your toy

Fade - Two colours combined that are gradually blended together. Colour 1 will be the tip of your toy and Colour 2 will be the shaft and base.

Marble - Two colours combined resulting in a veining effect similar to classic marble.

UC Trademark - This is a product-specific colour. The main image of the product is the UC Trademark colour.

For more information, take a look at our colour guide.

What are the different firmness options?

We offer the following firmness options:

Medium Firmness - 10A on the Shore hardness scale
Super Soft Firmness - 0040 on the Shore hardness scale
Squishy Soft Firmness - 0020 on the Shore hardness scale

For more information about our firmness options see our firmness guide.

Why do you only use platinum silicone?

We use platinum silicone so you get a toy that is non-pourous (meaning when you clean it, it gets fully clean and can't transmit bacteria), doesn't smell, is body safe and feels fantastic.

If you'd like to learn more about cleaning your toys, read our sex toy care guide.

What do the colours actually look like?

Check out our colour guide to see exactly what our colours look like. But please keep in mind, each toy is hand-poured, so no two are exactly alike!