The Alien II Dildo
A slim frame stacked with heavy ribs, which means you feel each one arrive individually. And yes, it looks narrow, that's the trick, less girth turns the volume up on every single ridge, all in body safe silicone that won't pick a fight with your anatomy. It also starts at XS, a rare courtesy in a market that thinks fantasy means three sizes of enormous.
Total:
Add any toy to your cart and we'll secretly slip in a FREE x-small mystery dildo.
Want to size up? You can upgrade your surprise for just a few extra coins in cart. Because good things come in all sizes.
Full details
Full details
Straight outta someone's biomechanical fever dream (looking at you, H.R. Giger)
Introducing The Alien II. Don't let the slim silhouette fool you. Those heavy ribbed textures? They're not just for show. You'll feel EVERY. SINGLE. INCH.
This thing has curves that'll make your toes curl and your eyes roll back. It knows exactly where to press, slide, and stimulate, like it's been studying a map of your pleasure points since before you knew they existed. The Alien knows where they are. The Alien always knows.
Designed by the brilliant Kat from Excelddesigns (who clearly understands anatomy better than most medical textbooks), this otherworldly creation delivers the kind of pleasure that might have you speaking in tongues. Or at least texting your friends in all caps the next day.
Side effects may include: spontaneous gasping, neighbours learning your name, and the sudden urge to believe in extraterrestrial life.
Platinum Silicone
Platinum Silicone
We use platinum-cure silicone for every single product because honestly? You deserve toys that are safe, durable, and feel as good as they look.
What makes it so special?
It's non-porous, which means when you clean it, it actually gets clean clean. No sneaky bacteria hiding in microscopic crevices. No weird smells developing over time. Just pure, body-safe silicone that stays hygienic no matter how adventurous you get.
Plus, it feels incredible. Like, genuinely fantastic!
Shipping to United Kingdom
Shipping to United Kingdom
Discreet Shipping
All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.
Returns
Look, we get it. Sometimes things don't work out. We've all been there.
You've got 30 days from when your package arrives to decide if you want to return something. Just make sure the item is in the same condition you received it — unused, with all its original packaging and tags intact.
For more info here's our full returns policy.
Secure Checkout
Secure Checkout
We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.
Ridges with receipts
Pronounced ribs over a curve that presses exactly where it should, finished with a knot so subtle it's basically a rumour.
Pick your difficulty
Four sizes from XS to Large, and the slim profile makes it genuinely beginner friendly (anal novices, consider this your easy mode).
No funny business
Body safe silicone all the way through. The only thing alien about it is the shape (and some colours glow in the dark, because of course they do).
Size Guide (Inches)
| Measurement | XS | S | M | L |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tip Circumference | 1.6 | 1.7 | 2.0 | 2.3 |
| Head Circumference | 2.0 | 2.4 | 2.6 | 2.9 |
| Head Diameter | 0.6 | 0.8 | 0.8 | 0.9 |
| Knot or Middle Circumference | 3.5 | 3.9 | 4.5 | 5.2 |
| Middle diameter | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.4 | 1.7 |
| Shaft Circumference | 2.8 | 3.5 | 4.2 | 4.3 |
| Insertable Length | 4.7 | 5.6 | 6.2 | 7.2 |
| Total Length | 5.6 | 6.5 | 7.3 | 8.4 |
| Base Circumference | 6.1 | 7.1 | 7.7 | 9.1 |
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Reviews
What customers are saying
Reviewers keep circling the same things: the ribbed texture you can feel ridge by ridge, the slim shape that turned sceptics into converts (one literally apologised to it after doubting its width), and the rare gift of actual small sizes in a fantasy toy. The recurring caveat is girth, with a few saying they'd size up next time. The glow in the dark colour also caused at least one documented scream.