Goblin Dildo
All ribs, bumps, and a curve with a frankly suspicious sense of direction (it knows where it's going, just let it). If the texture looks like a lot from the photos, it isn't, those bumps are soft, smooth, and very easy to get along with, all in body safe silicone. Realistic where it counts, goblin everywhere else.
Total:
Add any toy to your cart and we'll secretly slip in a FREE x-small mystery dildo.
Want to size up? You can upgrade your surprise for just a few extra coins in cart. Because good things come in all sizes.
Full details
Full details
Meet your new favourite troublemaker: The Goblin.
This cheeky little creation brings all the mischievous energy you'd expect, complete with ribs, curves, and delightfully bumpy bits that'll have you questioning why you ever settled for boring toys.
What makes this little troublemaker special, I hear you ask from the back?
Realistic meets fantasy curves because why choose between what works and what sparks your imagination?
Curved for pleasure in all the right ways. Think of it as having a built in navigation system for all your favourite spots.
Bumpy underside texture means you'll literally feel every single ridge and curve. Those details aren't just pretty to look at (though they really are something to behold).
The Goblin proves that the best adventures happen when you embrace a little chaos.
Platinum Silicone
Platinum Silicone
We use platinum-cure silicone for every single product because honestly? You deserve toys that are safe, durable, and feel as good as they look.
What makes it so special?
It's non-porous, which means when you clean it, it actually gets clean clean. No sneaky bacteria hiding in microscopic crevices. No weird smells developing over time. Just pure, body-safe silicone that stays hygienic no matter how adventurous you get.
Plus, it feels incredible. Like, genuinely fantastic!
Shipping to United Kingdom
Shipping to United Kingdom
Discreet Shipping
All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.
Returns
Look, we get it. Sometimes things don't work out. We've all been there.
You've got 30 days from when your package arrives to decide if you want to return something. Just make sure the item is in the same condition you received it — unused, with all its original packaging and tags intact.
For more info here's our full returns policy.
Secure Checkout
Secure Checkout
We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.
Your customisation
Pressure in waves
Every ridge registers and the textured underside keeps the feedback coming the whole way. Firm enough to feel, forgiving enough to take your time with.
It does the steering
That curve aims itself at the good spots so you're not working out the angles mid quest.
Low maintenance menace
Body safe silicone in four sizes from extra small to large, because chaos should still come in your size. A quick wash and it's ready for the next campaign.
Size Guide (Inches)
| Measurement | XS | S | M | L |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Head Circumference | 3.6 | 4.6 | 5.3 | 6.1 |
| Head Diameter | 1.2 | 1.5 | 1.7 | 2.0 |
| Knot or Middle Circumference | 4.3 | 5.5 | 6.3 | 7.7 |
| Middle Diameter | 1.4 | 1.8 | 2.0 | 2.5 |
| Shaft Circumference | 4.3 | 5.5 | 6.3 | 7.7 |
| Insertable Length | 4.5 | 5.9 | 6.9 | 8.4 |
| Total Length | 5.4 | 6.9 | 8.3 | 9.8 |
| Base Circumference | 8.7 | 11.2 | 12.8 | 15.8 |
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Reviews
What customers are saying
Reviewers keep coming back to the ridges and bumps hitting all the right spots, with the curve a close second for letting you control the sensation (more than one mention of eye rolling). The green gets repeat praise for nailing the fantasy look, the texture is consistently called soft and easy to handle, and the suction cup upgrade holds up well. One honest note: the medium size can run a touch big, so a few sized up or down accordingly.
