
The Mystery Dildo Size Upgrade
Ready to level up your dildo? For a small cost, transform your FREE X-Small mystery dildo into a bigger sensation. Because sometimes bigger really is better...
Look, we love our X-Small treasures, but if you're craving a bit more oomph in your adventures, this upgrade's got you covered.
Here's the deal: This upgrade swaps your automatic free X-Small for a bigger size of your choice. You still get ONE mystery dildo total (just a bigger one).
And before you ask: No, you can't buy this upgrade by itself. It only works if you have the free X-Small in your cart (which appears automatically when you add any toy). If you try to purchase it alone, our system will throw a tantrum and cancel your order. Nobody wants that.
All our toys arrive in the most boring brown boxes imaginable. No logos, no winking emojis, no hints. Just you, your package, and absolutely zero awkward small talk with delivery drivers.
We accept credit cards, debit cards, PayPal, ClearPay, Sezzle and Klarna. All secure, all simple, all showing discreetly on your bank statement.

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