Here's the deal: Spend over £50 / $61 / €60 / 99 AUD / 88 CAD and get a free mystery dildo in your size of choice. Because while surprises are fun, knowing your size preference is essential. Choose between X-SML or SML and let us handle the rest.

And yes, 'free' really means free. No strings attached (well, except for the minimum spend, but you were going to treat yourself anyway, right?).

The Not-So-Fine Print (because transparency is sexy):

• Hit those spending sweet spots mentioned above
• Your freebie appears like magic at checkout
• One per order (we know you're creative, but let's keep it fair)
• For Mystery Dildo lovers: yes, you get to pick your size. Because while surprises are fun, size compatibility is essential