Hey there!

We're doing that thing where we pretend this amazing deal is totally spontaneous (spoiler: we planned it). Spend $50+, £40+ or €50+ and snag a FREE surprise from our collection - your choice of:

• A fancy cleaner (because hygiene is sexy)
• Premium lube (smooth operator)
• Mystery dildo (trust us, it's good)

Why? Because we like you, and you deserve options!

The Fine Print (that we're making actually readable):

• Minimum purchase: $50+, £40+ or €50+
• Automatically added at checkout
• One per order (we know you're clever, but let's keep it fair)

That Add to Cart button is looking pretty tempting right now, isn't it?