TLDR
- Start small (X-Small, Super Soft), warm up first and use far more lube than feels reasonable.
- Breathe out, relax, and use slow, steady pressure. Let the knot pop in on its own, then pause.
- Getting it out is the same in reverse. Never yank. If it hurts, stop.
To take a knot dildo, start with a small knot and a soft firmness, warm up with a smaller toy or the shaft alone, and use plenty of lube. Then breathe out, relax and press with slow, steady pressure until the knot pops into place. Pause there. To release it, relax again and ease it out gently.
Right then. That's the answer for the people in a hurry. Everyone else, grab a cuppa (and the lube, you'll need the lube). This is the practical bit, written by the people who pour these things, so nobody has to learn it the hard way.
Before you start: the knot prep list
Pick a beginner knot. Your first knot shouldn't be your dream knot. The Knot II Dildo, Dragon: Knot I Dildo and Dragon: Knot II Dildo in X-Small all have a knot about 4.5" around. That's gentle enough for a first go. Knots run big, so size down from whatever you'd pick for a smooth toy.
Pick a soft firmness. Super Soft (00-40) is our best seller and the one we'd hand you for a first knot. It squashes a little as the knot goes in. Squishy Soft (00-20) is even more forgiving (a marshmallow with ambition). Medium (10A) holds its shape, which is lovely later on, but not for day one. The firmness guide has squish videos.
Warm up. Fingers, a smaller toy, or just the shaft of your knot toy without going for the knot. Five or ten minutes of this makes a huge difference. Your body needs time to settle in, and rushing it is the number one reason first knots don't happen.
Lube. Lots. Then add more. Water, silicone and oil based lube all work with our platinum silicone. Water based is easiest to clean up. Silicone based lasts longer, which is handy for anal. Put it on the toy, on you, and keep the bottle within reach (not across the room, ask me how I know).
How to take a knot, step by step
- Get comfy. Lying on your back with knees up, on your side, or kneeling all work. Pick whatever lets you relax and gives you control over the angle and pace.
- Start with the shaft. Ease in the tip and shaft first and enjoy that for a bit. There's no prize for getting to the knot quickly.
- Breathe and relax. When the knot reaches you, take a slow breath in, then breathe out long and easy. Relax your muscles on the out breath. Tensing up is the enemy here.
- Steady pressure. Press gently and hold that pressure, rather than pushing in short jabs. Think slow and constant. You'll feel the stretch build gradually.
- Let it pop. At some point your body gives a little and the knot slips past the widest point. That's the pop. Let it happen on its own; don't force the last bit.
- Pause and hold. Once it's in, stay still for a moment. This is the full, held feeling most people are here for. Enjoy it before you do anything else.
Not happening today? That's fine. Back off, enjoy the shaft and try again another day. Lots of people take a few sessions to get their first knot.
Vaginal vs anal knot play: what changes
The steps are the same either way. Anal just asks for a bit more of everything.
More lube. The bum doesn't make its own, so be generous and top up often. A thicker water based lube or a silicone based one stays put longer.
Slower. Give the warm up more time, and expect the knot itself to take longer. Go one size smaller than you would vaginally if you're unsure.
A flared base is non negotiable. For any anal knotted dildo, the base must be wider than the shaft so the toy can't travel. Every knot we make has one. If a toy doesn't, it's not for anal (no exceptions, however pretty it is).
Try a suction cup. Most of our knots come with a double suction cup option. Stick it to a sturdy chair, the floor or the shower wall and lower yourself onto it. You control the depth, the angle and the speed, which makes knot dildo anal play a lot easier to pace. A Knot IV Dildo is a nice option here, because its first smaller swell works as a built in warm up.
Releasing the knot (the exit strategy)
Taking it out is the same process in reverse. Relax, breathe out, and use slow, steady pressure to ease the knot back past the widest point. It'll pop out much like it popped in.
Never yank. Pulling hard and fast is the quickest way to go from a great time to a sore one. If it doesn't want to come out yet, pause, relax, and try again in a minute.
Knot dildo stuck? Don't panic
First, take a breath. A knot that feels stuck is usually just a knot holding on, exactly as designed. That's the whole point of the shape. It isn't going anywhere it shouldn't (that's what the flared base is for).
Here's what to do:
- Relax. Tension makes everything tighter. Breathe slowly, unclench your jaw and shoulders, and give it a minute or two.
- Add more lube around the base. Work it in around the knot where you can reach.
- Gentle, steady pull. Slow and constant, the same as on the way in. No jerking.
- Change position. Lying on your side, squatting or kneeling can change the angle enough to help it slide out.
If it genuinely won't come out, or there's sharp pain, get medical help (they really have seen it all before).
When to stop
Stretch is normal. Pain isn't. Stop if you feel:
- Sharp or stinging pain, rather than a full, stretchy feeling
- Numbness, or you can't feel what's happening
- Any bleeding
Stop, rest, and next time go smaller, softer or slower. Your toy will still be there tomorrow.
You never have to take the knot
Genuinely. Plenty of people never take it, and have a great time anyway. The shaft is a perfectly good dildo on its own, and the knot pressing against you (without going in) is a whole sensation of its own.
If you like that pressing feeling more than the pop, the Werewolf IV Dildo has a mini knot that swells gently instead of popping. No pressure. Literally.
Working up to bigger knots
Once your first knot feels easy (properly easy, not "I managed it once"), you can size up. A few tips:
- One step at a time. Go up one size, or from Super Soft to Medium, but not both at once.
- Same routine every time. Warm up, lube, breathe, steady pressure. The routine is half the trick.
- Use your old toy to warm up. Your first knot becomes the warm up for your next one.
- Give it weeks, not days. There's no rush and no finish line.
Every knot we make is in our knot dildos range. If you're not sure which to go for next, How to Choose a Knot puts every model side by side.
Cleaning up after
Wash your toy straight after with warm water and mild soap, and get around the knot and base where lube collects. Silicone or oil based lube may need a stronger detergent to shift. Dry it with a lint free cloth and store it somewhere clean and dry. Our platinum silicone can be boiled or sterilised too, and the care guide has the full routine.
Still curious about knots?
New to the whole idea? Knots Explained covers what a knot is, why people love them and the different styles we make. Ready to pick one? Start with How to Choose a Knot, or go straight to the beginner trio above.
Go slowly, be kind to yourself, and keep the lube close. No pressure at all.
Chief Dildo Officer
P.S. Yes, I did say "lube" more times in this post than in the rest of my life combined. No regrets. It's that important.
